“You may or may not have heard that a lawyer named Jay Edelson from a law firm called Edelson McGuire is attempting to organize a class action lawsuit against Groupon, claiming that our deals’ prominently displayed expiration dates somehow “systematically deceive our customers.”

We can think of two possible explanations for this lawsuit:

1. The law firm sees an opportunity to exploit our success and make a bunch of money.
2. We are indeed systematically deceiving our customers, but instead of taking advantage of our 100% open refund policy or telling us about their problems or sharing them in a public forum, our customers are secretly gossiping about them to each other and Edelson McGuire, kind of like Emily Johnson did against me in 9th grade (Emily if you are reading this I want my cabbage patch doll back).”